So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
