If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize