And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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