this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
