so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
