After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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