I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
