she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You dont lie about slip and slides
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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