My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
