...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
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