What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We need a shit load of segways right now
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I need water and some morals
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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