also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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