Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
