Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
