Say something about gay babies.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
