how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
