Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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