One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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