my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
