Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
