My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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