It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
