its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize