It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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