My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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