physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize