my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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