this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
