the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
