Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
