It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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