I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
