I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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