I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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