They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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