all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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