I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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