Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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