I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
