yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
