He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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