I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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