Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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