I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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