im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
