i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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