Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just gift wrapped bread.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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