Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
