I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
