My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
