Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We are all done wearing pants today
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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