Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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