Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize