he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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