i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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