My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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