Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
