just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
